Goku: The innocent
Goku is handsome, brave, strong, upbeat and cute beyond belief. The perfect man only faulted by one trait in which our carefree protagonist is very much lacking: intelligence. Come with me as we explore Goku’s innocence, ignorance and downright idiocy.
Series: DragonBall
Episode: 1
How it came about: The start of an epic friendship! Bulma is speeding through the forest in a capsule car searching for her third Dragonball when she accidentally slams into Goku, who's just come back from his hunt with a gigantic fish.
Bulma: I hit him!
*looks out the window, shocked*
He's alive!
Goku: You evil beast! You're trying to steal my food, arn't you?
*lifts up the car with Bulma inside*
Well, I won't let you!
If you want my food, then come fight me!
Bulma: How dare you, you monster!
Goku: Huh? There's a weird goblin coming out of the beast!
Bulma: You jerk!
*she shoots him*
Goku: What was that? Black magic?!
Bulma: Yikes! Why arn't you dead?!
Goku: Don't be stupid! I'd never die that easy! My body's as hard as steel! Say goodbye, you evil goblin!
Bulma: Goblin?! Time out! I'm not a goblin! I'm a human!
Goku: Human?
Bulma: *jumps out of the car and walks closer to Goku*
Isn't it obvious? Have a good look! See?
Goku: *jumps away*
Stop right there! Don't move a muscle!
*circles Bulma looking her up and down*
Bulma: Are you human?!
Goku: Of course I am! You don't seem like me, you're soft and weak looking...
Bulma: Well, come on, I'm a girl!
Goku:A girl? You're a girl?
Bulma: What a hick! You've never seen a girl before?
Goku: No. You're the first human I've seen besides me and Grandpa. Grandpa told me that if I ever met a girl, that I should be nice to her.
Bulma: Sounds like good advice. So you live together with your Grandpa then?
Goku: He died a long time ago.
*lifts up Bulma's skirt*
Bulma: What're you doing, you little pervert?!
Goku: Girls don't even have tails? How strange.
Bulma: [mumbles] Talk about lame! Does he think he's cool with that tail accessory?
Goku: Did this beast catch you or something?
Bulma: This isn't a beast! It's a car!
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 2
How it came about: Goku walks in on Bulma in the bath and offers to help her wash, which she adamantly refuses. Before leaving he asks a few questions her semi-naked form has provoked.
Goku: You have butts up here too?
*points to chest*
Bulma: Don't be stupid! That's not a butt! They're bosoms!
Goku: Bosoms?
Bulma: Babies like them!
*blushes and turns away*
And boys, too...
Goku: I don't like your butt.
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 2
How it came about: Goku wakes up after his first eventful day hunting DragonBalls with Bulma. The previous night they'd discussed sleeping arrangements and Bulma had steadfastly refused Goku's suggestion to 'sleep in her lap' and made him sleep on the floor instead. But, the morning after, Goku has other plans.
Goku: This reminds me of when I would sleep with my head in Grandpa's lap! It's been so long since I last did that!
*he lies down and, noticing a apparent difference from his previous lap-sleeping with his Grandpa, pats Bulma's... private parts*
That's weird...
*removes Bulma's panties and screams*
Bulma: *wakes up shocked and looks around*
What is it? Did something happen?
Goku: Y-your balls are gone! Peepee too!
Bulma Eh? The Dragon Balls?!
*runs to the table*
What are you talking about? They're all right here.
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 4
How it came about: When visiting a small village on their Dragon Ball quest Goku comes across yet another female, the second he’s ever met.
Goku: *pats little girl's crotch*
You're a girl, arn't you?
Little Girl: *recoils, embarassed*
Bulma: *punches Goku*
Goku: What was that for?!
Bulma No patting people's crotches!
LATER
Goku: *walks up and pats crotch Old lady Paozu's crotch*
Bulma *falls over anime style*
Goku: You're a girl, huh?!
Old lady Paozu: *suddenly bashful*
Oh, you little rascal...
Bulma *hits Goku again*
This isn't the time to be randomly patting people's crotches!
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 10
How it came about: Shuu and Mai have just stolen the DragonBalls so Goku follows them only to come face to face with an… empty ship.
Goku: There he is!
*he jumps off Kinto Un*
[addresses the empty ship] Hey, you! It's not nice to steal other people's things!
SILENCE
Maybe he didn't hear me?
[screams] Hey, you! It's not nice to steal other people's things!
SILENCE
He still can't hear me?
*circles ship*
I wonder where his ears are?
*ships hatch closes and Goku jumps away*
Hey, you! It's not nice to--
SILENCE
Say something!
*pokes ship and it falls over*
He's dead... What a weakling.
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 14
How it came about: Goku has just left his first DragonBall hunt to be trained by master arts genius Master Roshi. However, the training comes at a price.
Master Roshi: Bring me a Pichi-pichi gal here. Do that, and I can train you.
Goku: What's a bitchy bitchy gag?
Master Roshi: A Pichi-pichi gal! That's a cute, lively young woman!
Goku: A Pichi-pichi gal, huh? I bring one of those here, and then you'll train me, right?
Master Roshi: Yeess!
Goku: Oh, that'll be easy! Off I go!
Master Roshi: Ahhh, j-just a second.
Goku: Hum?
Master Roshi: I'm just asking to make sure, but you do know what "Pichi pichi young woman" means, right?
Goku: It's a guy with no winkie and lots of spunk, right?
Master Roshi: Well I suppose, so, but... They've got to have more than just lots of energy. They can't be too child-like, and not too old. They must be cute, and if possible, a "Mutchiri", voluptuous girl is "best".
Goku: This is getting confusing. When you say "Mitchiri" is "besto", what does that mean?
Master Roshi: We're going to have to start out from common knowledge with you.
Goku: No matter. I'll bring one here in any case.
LATER
Goku: *brings back a rather large woman in a swimsuit*
She's got lots of energy!
Master Roshi: [horrified]
Woman: [grumbles] You need something with me?
LATER
Master Roshi: I am astounded at how little an eye you have for gals.
Goku: You think so?
Master Roshi: Alright then, let's test you. Which one of these is an attractive gal?
*shows two pictures of two very different-looking women*
Goku: *studies the pictures*
That's a hard one...
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Series: DragonBall
Episode: 15
How it came about: Krillan and Goku are riding aboard the Kinto Un (Flying Nimbus) looking for a Pichi-pichi girl to present to Muten (Master) Roshi so he’ll accept them as his pupils.
Goku: Hey, Krillan! What about that one? You think the Old-timer will like that one?
*points to an middle-aged man*
Krillan: Where? Where?
*looks around*
What are you, an idiot? That's a man, isn't it?
Goku: You can tell men and women apart just by looking? Awesome!
Krillan: You're kidding, right? You mean you can't tell?
Goku: I can tell if I touch them to see if they have a winkie or not.
Krillan: I'm telling you right now, I'm a guy. Got that?
